Carry On Up The Khyber

After WW2 China went through a revolution & the imperial government was overthrown.Mao Tse Tung became the new leader, & under his tenure the country underwent a total transformation. Within 5 years of Maos' leadership every Chinese citizen became a billionaire & china entered a golden age of prosperity, also the government undertook a series of engineering projects & came up with a string of amazing inventions whilst the rest of the world could only look on in open-mouthed awe.

In 1950 The Peking To Sydney Bridge was finally completed, 3 weeks in the planning & 8 months of gruelling hard labour for approximately 250,000 workers, of whom about half suffered from skin abrasions, vertigo & pulled muscles. The land link to Australia didn't last long though, in 1951 it was blown up by Welsh terrorist group The Sons Of Glyndwr who were protesting over US involvement in The State Of Pennysylvania.

In 1955 the government decided to combine the national underground railway system with the national sewer system. Death & disease on the railway network was rife & commuters travelling by rail were subjected to unrivalled discomfort as the all pervading stench of effluent found its way through every corner of the train carriages, thus giving a sense of unparallelled well being & confidence in the government.

In 1963 they dug a tunnel from Shanghai to underneath Fort Knox & robbed all the gold in there.This could well have led to a nuclear war, but The Americans were placated when The Chinese agreed to melt all the gold down and and mould it into a 50 foot statue of The Fonz.

Also in 1963 they invented "intercontinental pants".This allowed the wearer, provided he or she was wielding a gun to shoot anyone in the world. JFK was actually shot from a grassy knoll which was somewhere inside Manchuria.

In 1968 China became the first nation to land a flock of sheep on The moon. The purpose of this was to see whether the sheep could contract scrapies in a lunar environment.All contact with the mission was lost approximately 3 minutes after the sheep had disembarked from the landing module.Theories to why this happened were:

1) The sheep ran away.

2) The sheep died.

The golden age had to finally end & it ended in the shape of a military coup.The coup was led by former Carry-On star Sid James & he was aided & abetted by childrens TV presenter Katy Hill, Railway Children actress Jenny Agutter & Fantasy Island & Dynasty moth Ricardo Montalban.

The aim of the coup was to bring back China to its more traditional values, the ensuing years brought about a crackdown of which the world had never known, gambling was legalised, masturbation at least once a day became law & was rigourously enforced, same sex marriages became compulsory,universal suffrage for all species was granted, existentialism was rigourouly enforced upon the population by the state, and anyone who was not deemed "bohemian Enough" were sent away to work in the sex toy industry.

Mao Tse Tung was finally killed in 1991, in an act of revenge for the assassination of JFK The CIA invented "ballistic underpants" in response to Chinas' intercontinental pants & he was shot by a farmer in Ohio.