It's Not Muraroa At All

The last thing that I remember from my previous life was chatting amiably with Nels Olsen whilst buying half a pound of Kopp Kopps at Olsens Mercantile,then there was a loud humming outside followed by blinding swirly lights & next thing I was on board an alien spacecraft.My first thought was "At least that's The Ingalls Family out of my hair." I was then led to a metal examination table.

The experiments that the aliens performed on me were very soothing and relaxing,they included:

* Accelerated moustache growth.

* Urine target practice

* Cheek implants

* Advanced eye surgery

* Hide & seek (smell identification version)

They released me after about two weeks, but unfortunately they left me in the late 20th century & I had to change my name from Nellie Olsen as they had turned me into a bloke.

I returned to Walnut Grove but I knew it could never be the same as it was 100 years before, especially since it was the site for testing The A-Bomb in 1945. Nobody told the residents either, they just bombed the twats.All thats left there now is a jar on the site of what was the schoolhouse,inside the jar are the perfectly preserved lips of all the Ingalls family plus the nose of that annoying dog they had,Shadbolt. There is also a 70 foot giant inflatable pint of Oranjeboom there.